Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls, by Gary Thomas (Zondervan 2004)Sacred Parenting communicates how to sacrifice, handle guilt, listen, live courageously, and face our reliance on God in raising our children.
I believe the thesis of the book is found in the following thought: "The process of raising children requires skills that God alone possesses, and we are decidedly not God . . . God uses children to shape us, spiritually speaking." (pg 12)
He goes on to write: "The process of parenting is one of the most spiritually formative journeys a man and a woman can ever undertake- the journey of caring for, raising, training, and loving our children will mark us indelibly and powerfully. We cannot be the same people we once were, we will be forever changed, eternally altered." (pg 15)
The great strength of this book is that it does not focus on the "how to" of parenting, but on the "who" of parenting. In other words, Thomas is not concerned with behavior modification in our children, but with heart transformation in us as parents. Through parenting, we are matured as we seek to serve God and be purified every day as we raise our kids and form them out of reverence for God.
Thomas advocates utilizing a question that he drew from C.J. Mahaney. He challenges the readers to ask their children- "What do you think your daddy and mommy feel most passionate about?" (pg 31). This is a telling question because it is easy for us to be blinded by our desires and not see ourselves as we really are. Our children see us at our best and at our worst and they know what we truly value. I would challenge you to apply this in your family.
This is a very challenging and honest book. It recognizes that even the best of parents are fallible and far from perfect. Thomas encourages parents to thank God for their children more than they ask God to change them. Enjoy the journey of parenting and enjoy the presence of your children.
The writer also inspires faith in God rather than control of our children. "Parenting gives unparalleled power, while also making us nakedly vulnerable. Do not be afraid. Trust God. Children will never perish apart from God's watchful eye or without God's covering grace. The world is not a big pit just waiting for an accident. It is governed by a good and generous God who remains in control and who repeatedly calls us to trust Him." (pg 92).
You may be willing to die for your child, but you must realize that God already has. Parenting involves a long process of releasing our grip on the reins of the lives of our children. Our care must shift from control to influence.
The bottom line that Thomas encourages is for parents to do what they can to ensure their children embrace the Gospel.
Parenting is an enormous responsibility. Good and godly parents have great faith in God and not themselves. Our children belong to the Lord, and He has called us to be stewards of them. If you want to be encouraged, and at the same time challenged in your walk with God and in your parenting, read this book.
